I Don’t Fit In and That is Okay!


It is Spring and we have just experience a Full Moon. Both are wonderful times for getting rid, letting go or releasing what no longer serves us in order for the new to have space to blossom.

In the spirit of the season, I have just finished moving my office from the main floor of our house to the second floor and moving my client space to the first floor.

What was I thinking?! My heart knew I needed the move even though my head hadn’t caught up to the ‘why’.

It was a major undertaking to be sure. Cleaning, painting, sorting, de-cluttering as well as thinking, pondering, wondering and playing. I knew on a level that there were multiple reasons why this move was in order and I was happy to have an open mind during the process.

The move allowed me the time to be with all my books, journals, oracle card decks, course materials, crystals, magical tools, things on my altars, salt lamps, paper, craft items, binders full of articles, candles, pictures and the list could go on.

In the week it took me to sort all of this stuff out, I kept thinking, wow, I am on an extraordinary journey. One that I thought I started eighteen years ago when I began my “Spiritual” journey but in reality it began many years before that.

Two major events came to my mind. A year’s trip and a move to a farm.

When I was ten years old my family went on a year’s trip in our little Citation trailer.

We travelled through the US, into Mexico and flew to the UK where my brother and I attended school for a term. Talk about an amazing adventure!

When we arrived home, things weren’t the same. We weren’t the same. Even at eleven years of age I knew I didn’t fit in.

My experiences of the year away travelling exposed me to a huge world, various cultures and different people. My life was so different than my friends.

Within two years of arriving home from our big year’s trip, my parents bought a farm and we moved from the city to the farm the summer before I started high school. It seemed like a good idea at the time and we were up for another adventure.

It was hard to try to adapt to being the “city kids” in a rural environment, going to school where we really didn’t fit in. My brother and I did our best to ‘fit in’ by playing lots of sports, participating in whatever clubs and events were available.

We made the best of our years on the farm and I chose to move back to the city when I went to University. For some reason, I thought that coming back to the city would provide me with a feeling of fitting in…it didn’t.

Over the years I have come to understand that my life has been one big extraordinary adventure.  With a willing explorer’s heart I go forth to discover new things and places. I like being a trailblazer.

I do not like conformity and break the rules, or challenge them constantly. How could I possibly “fit in”?

As I set up my new office and healing room for my clients, I was content and happy in the knowledge that I don’t fit in and that is what makes me unique.

At my core I am a catalyst with intuitive insights, bold ideas and out-of-the-box solutions. The idea of fitting in kinda goes against who I am.

From a social perspective the emphasis of fitting in is overrated. If we just accept that fact, and showed up as our authentic selves daily, what could be possible for us?





8 thoughts on “I Don’t Fit In and That is Okay!

  1. Great post Helen. I wonder if anyone, anywhere, ever truly ‘fits in’? I love not fitting in, but choosing to reveal to the outside world the parts of me that make me appear to fit in! That keeps my uniqueness private, and I rather like that! X

    1. Hey Penny! I agree. Over the years I have done the same thing as you, choosing to reveal to the outside world parts of me that appear to fit in. I am at a point in my life where I am okay with just being me and not necessarily revealing more just showing up as me. xo

  2. So much resonance here, Helen, thank you. Clarissa Pinkola Estes has a story about a mistaken zygote being dropped from a basket into the wrong household. When I heard her speak those words I thought to myself, YES, that’s exactly how I feel. For much of my life I’ve been on the fringe, ‘fitting in’ as much as possible but often feeling like a square peg in a round hole. It has only been in the past few years that my world has gotten so much larger thanks to the internet. I love the way you have framed your life as an extraordinary adventure.
    P.S. I have been in the midst of a construction project for the past few months that has kept me from putting my office/study back together so I could really relate to your: “cleaning, painting, sorting, de-cluttering, thinking, pondering, wondering and playing.” I’ve been doing much of the same. I suspect my study is going to be very different from the one I imagined once it’s complete. More on that later! xxoo

    1. You are most welcome Sue Ann. I agree with you about our worlds getting bigger because of the internet. I am ready to embrace that wide world experience. My tribe is out there, others in the world on extraordinary adventures. All the best with you construction project. It will be beautiful when completed and the journey will have given you so many gifts. Looking forward to the updates! xoxo

  3. Lovely post, Helen! I’ve never been one to fit in – as a child I used to joke that I must be adopted, but there is no denying the family resemblance! 😉 I am getting quirkier as I’m getting older as well, but I’m also getting less worried about fitting in (actually, it never bothered me much, but I could have done without the bullying – then again, that experience probably helped shape my personality more than I realise). Who was it that said we start our lives as originals and end up as poor copies? I can’t find the quote online right now, but I think they were wrong, anyway – since moving to this tiny Devon village I have made lots of friends in their 60s, 70s and 80s, and I think they’re all wonderfully original. I find that very reassuring! 🙂

    1. Thanks Neens! We are born originals and we should end up as originals. I love that you have friends in their 60s, 70s and 80s. These wise folks are such a gift to have in our lives. I think that children need to be encouraged more to be their authentic selves. While our lives have rolled out exactly as they were supposed to, what could have been possible if the whole idea of fitting in didn’t exist? More uniqueness and happier people. Cheers to not fitting in!!!

  4. My daughter would describe herself as introverted, I think. And we moved her “from the city to a rural environment” when she was starting the 8th grade. Fitting in is a universal theme. When we arrived here in “cattle country” my daughter, who is a vegetarian, got to help our community learn what that is. I often find that the more permission we give ourselves to “be ourselves” the more we liberate others to do the same.

    After “that vegetarian” moved in I began to hear of all kinds of “different kids.” Is this because I was tuned in to this subject? Or because the more uniqueness there is, the more each individual feels the permission to explore their own passionate path? Way to go on your journey!

    1. Thanks Rebecca. Being ourselves encourages others to do the same. I think when we are tuned into “differences” it is on our radar and the more uniqueness there is, the more it resonates with others. It could very well provide the permission for each of us to explore their own passionate path. Woohoo for our journeys!!

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