It is hard to believe that it is March 12, 2014. The snow is falling outside and I feel like I am in a snow globe. There is a quietness as I look out at the snow.
The ambient music is playing on my computer and there is a calm and peace that surrounds me.
There have been so many changes and shifts in my life since my last blog of September 2013.
They began on October 1, 2013 when we had to put down our beloved Shar Pei dog, Kiwi. She was twelve, which is old for a Shar Pei. Kiwi passed onto the Blue Road of Spirit in her favourite place on earth, her back deck.
The sound of the pond, Reiki music, the flickering light of beeswax candles, being surrounded by the people she loved was the best stage that could be set for Kiwi to take her last breath.
As Kiwi passed from this life, I could see my Dad (who passed away in May of 2010) holding out his arms and Kiwi running to him, so excited to see Grandpa again. I knew she was in a better place, with Souls who loved her.
Past experiences have taught me that the Universe is supporting us always and that there would be a sign from Kiwi. Something to let me know that she was fine and that I could start my healing journey.
The sign came that night, after everyone had left our home and I had finished saging the house and back deck.
As I walked out of my healing room, I heard Kiwi say “Look Mama, no more pain!”. I closed my eyes and I could see her running like the wind. Doing puppy burns, running down low to the ground.
I smiled and giggled. Watching Kiwi do puppy burns as a younger dog always made me laugh. It was the best sign I could have hoped for…..tears streamed down my face. Tears of joy and sadness.
I knew at that moment in time, Kiwi was exactly where she needed to be and so was I. Our relationship would now be different and our bond would span eternity.
I thanked the Universe and at that moment, I could feel the healing light wash over me.
Kiwi was my companion, my familiar, the biggest source of unconditional love, laughter, joy in my life and one of my greatest teachers. I miss her on a daily basis and I know she is with me in Spirit.
The loss of a pet is devastating to say the least. Your life will never be the same. You feel like you heart has broken and that it will never heal.
While we inherently know that we will heal and our lives will be different, in that moment of time it is hard to imagine anything. All you know is that life takes on a new and unfamiliar direction. Future possibilities feel like whispers on the wind.
Over the course of the last six months, I have given myself time to heal, knowing that healing from a loss takes on it’s own Divine timing and is different for everyone.
We have to be patient with the process whatever it may look like. We have to understand that there will be good days and not so good days and that being gentle with ourselves is key.
My healing journey during this past Fall and Winter has allowed me to let go what no longer serves me. I have been able to gain clarity and get a better handle on what is truly important in my life.
I have really slowed down with the “doing” of life and spent time “being”. The winter months have afforded me the time to really connect to my heart and my inner voice. My mind has become more quiet and calmer.
I am listening to my inner voice and following it’s guidance more now than ever. My broken heart is on the mend.
As I move into Spring, the ability to imagine future possibilities are no longer whispers on the wind. I can hear and feel what’s possible for me.
These are the signs that I am healing after a loss.